What happens when we don’t get what we want when the flow slows down or even stops? You get mad, sad, and unhappy. You blame the pandemic, the president, the country, the war, your mother, father, brother, sister, husband, wife, child, co-worker, anyone we can think of, even the driver of that car who passed you on the freeway.
All you want is a little more; more money, more love, more fun, more time with friends and family, more time for yourself.
You find yourself stuck.
Stuck in the anger, stuck in the resentment, stuck in the fear of what will happen now. You are stuck because there is no flow. As soon as you get angry or resentful or critical, the flow shuts down. So you attract more stuckness. Then you start defending your stuckness. Stop.
Stop defending your stuckness. The reason you defend your stuckness position is that you want to be right about who you are and what you do. Being right then becomes resistance. Being in resistance puts you in that rut of stuckness. A vicious circle.
The only way out of the rut, the only way to increase the flow of anything is to forgive.
Forgiveness is a process that opens the flow. Forgiveness lets your guard down from defending your position. To let your guard down is the best place to be if you want more of anything in your life. If you are stuck, there is no flow, and you are someplace you do not want to be, there is something you can not do.
If you want to be in another place or feel another feeling or act another action, I have a secret. The secret is forgiveness – really.
Forgiveness gets you off your position of being right. Because your stuckness is really about being right. When you are right about something, you think you are in total absolute control. When others defy your position by criticizing you or not giving you that contract you worked so hard to get and think you deserve, you become stuck. This stuckness, this resistance,
stops the flow of anything, good or bad, from coming to you. You are so stuck that you cannot think of a way out or a new direction. Forgiveness stops you for a minute. This stop allows the flow of activity, of something other than righteous resistance.
Here is a simple, effective, clear way to get unstuck.
Start by making a list of all the people you have any issues with, or a feeling about, or a criticism of. Maybe they did cut you off on the freeway. Maybe they didn’t keep their word to you. Maybe they lied. Maybe they didn’t hire you for that job. Check out the following example.
Trudy was supposed to meet you for lunch. She often canceled on previous occasions.
You hoped this time would be different. It wasn’t. She not only didn’t show up, she called
at the very last minute to say she was still an hour away. No real regret, just sorry. So,
what did you do? Let us say you became resentful and argued with her and told her off.
What did this accomplish? You really didn’t feel better. All this argument did was remind
you of all the other times she stood you up. This reminder created more memories of
when others kept you waiting. You now go back in time to recall numerous similar
situations. Again, you are stuck, you get angry and upset with almost every little
perceived slight. If you are stuck, the goodness that you want, the more of what you want
will no longer flow.
Forgive Trudy. Really and truly forgive her.
Get out your journal or a yellow pad and write the following:
* I forgive Trudy for all the times she stood me up.
* I forgive Trudy for making me feel angry.
* I forgive Trudy for making me feel stuck.
You can start to feel your body changing. You have just created an opening, an opportunity for the flow to begin.
* I appreciate Trudy for all of who she is.
* I appreciate myself for accepting Trudy as she is.
Okay, maybe you are not totally accepting of Trudy, yet, but just the saying of it will open your valves.
The more often you forgive everyone who you think has lied to you, ignored you, stood you up, or did not keep their word to you, the flow will begin. Keep that journal out and continue to forgive everyone on that list. Take the time for this exercise each and every day until the flow begins.
Let forgiveness keep you on your path of ‘unstuckness’.
Let the flow of more money, more love, more fun, and more friends begin.
Want support in forgiving someone? Click here and make an appointment for a Laser chat.
Joanne
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- Episode #263: The Anti-Coach with Patricia Lindner - March 7, 2023
