The blame game is rampant right now and there is an overabundance of people, places, and things from which to choose. And whether you are a blamer or a blamee, this is how it usually goes –

When you can’t accept responsibility for yourself you blame somebody or something else. This becomes an unconscious habit; you don’t even recognize that you’re doing it. Even and especially in these challenging times, you are responsible.

When you are accused of something you did not do your brain and body go into shock.

Your brain immediately goes on the fritz, your emotions are all over the place, your heart beats rapidly, you can’t catch your breath and you are momentarily speechless. Then you become angry and have lots of negative self-talk. ‘Who is this person to blame me for something I did not do?!’ ‘What’s wrong with me that this person hurts me this way?’ ‘Maybe I deserve it.’ This emotional activity also occurs when you blame someone.

Blamers are mostly narcissists and narcissists think of only one thing- themselves. They do not care about you; they are deflecting their own inadequacies. Blamers are losers. Blamers are also bullies, to use current vernacular. They have been called torturers, intimidators, and aggressors. This is not who you want to be.

Blamers accept no responsibility for anything wrong in their lives. As do narcissists, their narrative is different from others in that it is broaching on being psychotic. If you think this is you, remove yourself from the situation; you do not want to be here.

You cannot win in a conversation with a blamer. Repeat this to yourself.  If you think you can defend yourself against blamers, you have taken on a war of words, because the blamer will always consider themselves right. Yet this narcissistic individual only thrives on words, similar to a manipulator. Be sorry for these individuals, yet do not engage or waste any of your precious time with them.

Blamers are usually righteous in their blaming. Does this describe you?

The best thing to do is be responsible for yourself no matter what. To choose to blame someone for this event is a waste of the energy and creativity you need for yourself.

Want help to move through this blame aspect? Click here and tell me all about it.

 

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Joanne Victoria
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